Boondocker's Diary: Page 13
DO CHICKENS HAVE LIPS?
Chow time in from the perimeter and kicked back in the tent. Hot chow had been served to us at camp Carroll. Some sort of steamy substance with more lumps of food particles and a form of liquid to wash it down with. Hell as far as I was concerned it was a holiday, though I don't know which one and could give a shit less. I didn't have to be in a hole tonight, I had that bad ass metal tray of whatever and I was gonna eat every friggin morsel if it killed me.
Evening was approaching, even the temperature was below ninety degrees. All was quiet on the western front. I was talking with my friend Pine about this and that, thinking how great it was gonna be just to relax after spending the last three nights staring at the hillside. Oh Yeeeaaahh!, Hot foodstuff, good conversation and an explosion that sent me and Pine head over heels onto the deck. Shit man, I think I did a complete flip in mid air. I mean there was food and assholes flying in all different directions. From the sound of this explosion ole charley musta loaded every friggin ounce of gun powder from Hanoi to Da Nang into a four by four and catapulted that bad boy into camp. I mean KA-Fucking-BOOM! Rockets go Whoom and mortars go Boom, but this was no ordinary ordinance here. This was the Mother of mean. This Sumbitch was impressive to the point of being worthy of a hand salute, an aye aye Sir and may I polish your brass you Devil Dog you!
In the meantime... We low crawled our narrow behinds to the outside and slinked into a ditch. Debris was still falling out of the sky and Pine and me looked at each other with eyes as big as hoot Owls thinking, “What the Fuck?” If Charleys throwing that kinda shit at us in the first volley, what the hell else does he have up his black pyjama ass sleeve. Holy Shit! have you ever seen the picture of Kilroy peering over the fence? Well that's what I looked like, only from a ditch. Kilroy had already beat feet and left me alone looking like a fool. A large cloud of smoke was coming from the center of Camp Carroll.
An all clear was sounded and we all stood up and wandered shaky legged towards the confusion. I sure hoped it was all clear cause if I had to go through that again I'd have to change my skivvies for sure.
The scuttlebutt was going around that a bomber (our own) was flying over camp and a 500 pounder fell off landing dead center of the hill. Pretty damn convenient if ya ask me. I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer but that was a tough pill to swallow. I'd sooner believe that chickens have lips than eat that line of bullshit.
What did I expect anyway?
Dear Marines, at 17:00 hours we are gonna blow the top off your mountain. Please be prepared to be scared shitless. This will be a major event so please dress accordingly. Ditches will be available on a first come, first serve basis. Thank you, The Bomb Squad.
Hell I'd rather have had somebody jump out at me and yell “SURPRISE” just before the big event, at least my heart would have been pumping and ready for action.
I cant say for sure that nobody was hurt or killed, it was hush hush after the initial conversation. If so my heart goes out to em.
So much for the quiet relaxing evening. I cant complain to much as I didn't have to eat that powdered, under watered, over salted pile of horseshit they gave us for supper. Sometimes God just out does hisself with miracles...
Richard D. Preston
Page created: Sunday, 28 May 2000